As I flip my calendar page from January to February, having survived the darkest days of winter, it is encouraging to read that this is the month that KINDNESS is celebrated. In addition to Valentines Day, when we have the opportunity to tell others how much we love them, RAK – Random Acts of Kindness Day is on February 17, which is the culmination Kindness Week, recognized from February 9-15. I also found it interesting that World Kindness Day is a day in November that is set aside to honor the idea that our world is a better place when people are kind to each other. This notion is one that we all agree with and see the benefit of, so ‘what gives?’ Why is showing kindness challenging? Why just ONE week? How can I…WE…become kind, not just for ONE day, but every day? Is it possible to make positive and permanent changes in our small corner of the planet by changing the way we think or act? I believe it is.
As I look over experiences and people in my life, I begin to see a patten. There have been “nice” people. Many of them. I taught my children to be nice, I try to be nice to others and expect the same. But “kind?” That can be a big ask. “Niceness” can be demonstrated by giving things, allowing behaviors, smiling, and having manners. We are nice to a boss, teacher, or co-worker. We can be nice to people when we want something from them, like a promotion, a ride, or a service. “Kindness,” though, is internally motivated …it does not ask anything in return. Kindness is compassionate, it requires empathy, and it comes from the depths of the heart. Kindness keeps the best interest of others in mind. and often entails self-sacrifice. This concept caused me to consider these situations, which I am sure you can relate to:
I was nice to my kids when I bought them the newest video game, took them to an amusement park, and hosted sleep over parties. I showed kindness to my teenager by holding, and sobbing with a heartbroken 15-year-old that had just gone through a breakup, cleaning up the bedsheets of a preschooler with the flu, then doing it again 45 minutes later, or understanding a failing grade, and developing a plan to do better, with my child’s future in mind. These actions can only come from the heart and are only motivated by love.
In the world of recovery, it may be nice to make calls for a friend who is hung over and not going to work, pay on someone’s fine, or overlook inappropriate behavior, but is this really displaying kindness? Being kind is NOT without challenges. Being kind- thinking of others- can be hard. It can mean allowing a person to lose their job, but save their life. It can mean watching a loved one struggle, but grow stronger. It can mean telling the difficult truth with compassion, and walking through solutions alongside a friend. Kindness is there when all else has gone away, it is there to pick up the broken pieces and it provides the glue that rebuilds in a beautiful new way.
With RAK Day just around the corner, how can YOU honor this event? Better yet, how can WE become the kind of people who are kind? Those who struggle from mental health or substance abuse diagnosis are some of the very people who need kindness the most. Let’s start there, because a simple act of kindness could be the spark that lights the fire of recovery. A listening ear on a dark, cold evening could open the door to sobriety. Non-judgmental support and affirmation could give the hope that has been elusive. It’s the small things that can be the life -changing acts of kindness. Kindness is NEVER small, never meaningless, and never wasteful.
Randon Acts of Kindness Week gives all of humanity the chance to dabble in kindness. Hopefully, the experience will inspire many to make the idea of kindness a part of daily living . Here are some ideas:
** PAY IT FORWARD In recent years the “Pay it Forward Movement” has been popular in restaurants and drive through lines, the record to date for this is 369 cars. Helping others is noted as a ‘new concept’ for many, in one YouTube video. This same video explained that when given the opportunity, people actually paid for more than 1 car behind them !
**offering someone a genuine compliment costs nothing and means everything
**Leave a positive note on a bathroom mirror or library book
**Leave quarters at the Laundromat
**Donate- time, money, gently used clothing/shoes/blankets
Individuals, groups, places of business, and even entire towns can participate in Random Acts of Kindness Week. What is your part in this? Can you participate in or organize an event? Well, possibly…Can you pass along a genuine word of encouragement, or put a sticky note saying “you are loved” in a public area? This is possible for everyone!
I am looking forward to hearing how RAK Week is being used to make the world a better place, not just in February, but as the foundation of a new way of thinking, and doing, and BEING.
“You cant just BE KIND, you actually have to FEEL KIND”
Elton, via the Mel Robbins podcast